Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
