i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am full of burrito and curiosity
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
