Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize