Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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