Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
