So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
