Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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