Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
