You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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