this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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