woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
