yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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