That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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