Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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