It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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