i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm too high and old for this...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
