I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
