I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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