Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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