youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
