What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
