I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
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Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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