u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
