She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
