In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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