um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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