i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
