Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
