I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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