he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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