just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
