SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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