i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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