doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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