Pappa wants mamma naked
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
