i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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