Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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