normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
