Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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