Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
