Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We have so much sex to catch up on
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
