I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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