I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
