that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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