mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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