May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
