i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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