alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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