her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
