You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.