i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?