after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
