But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
