There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I believe in your delicious
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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