wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
