Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
