and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
