Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
