doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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