her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
