i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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