Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
