Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
