We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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